The Allafia Protocol: ShagHarri ObenderBanga and the Allafia-Yahwere Roof That Would Not Beam. Chapter 2: The Warning Light Nobody Wanted
The warning light had activated before.
Technically. A footnote buried in URANUS-7's operating manual acknowledged the possibility, although the manual had last been updated some four thousand years earlier by a committee whose members had since ascended into higher dimensions, retired, gone extinct or become consultants. Nobody aboard the station knew what the warning light meant. It was now flashing enthusiastically, accompanied by a noise resembling a goat attempting to recall tax law.
"What is that?" asked Junior Monitoring Officer Kev'Ralak.
Nobody answered. On the main display, ShagHarri remained exactly where he had been moments earlier. One foot twitched, and three officers automatically reached for their drinks. The ritual had become stronger than conscious thought.
"What does the manual say?" Supervisor Erphax demanded. Twenty-seven terminals came alive. Officers searched, one searched harder, another searched emotionally, while a third quietly hoped somebody else would find the answer.
Eventually, an analyst located the relevant passage. His expression deteriorated.
"Well?"
"It says... do not activate."
Silence.
"That's all?"
"Apparently."
"Who wrote this?"
"The same committee responsible for the toilet emergency protocols."
Several officers cursed. Those protocols were widely regarded as the worst document in recorded galactic history. Section Four contained seventeen pages explaining why panic was unhelpful before identifying the emergency. Section Eight was missing entirely. Nobody knew whether this was deliberate.
Meanwhile, the warning light continued flashing with increasing confidence. Across the station, dormant systems began awakening. Displays flickered, locked archives opened and ancient files emerged from storage sectors nobody had visited for centuries. One screen displayed DESIGNATED OBSERVATION SUBJECT VERIFIED.
Another read CONTACT THRESHOLD APPROACHING. A third announced JURISDICTIONAL DISPUTE IMMINENT.
That last one caused considerable concern. Nothing good ever followed a jurisdictional dispute. Entire wars had started because two departments believed the same nebula belonged to them. An unfortunate incident involving six moons and a parking regulation remained compulsory study material throughout the Orion Administrative Union.
"Why does it say jurisdictional dispute?" Kev'Ralak asked. Nobody knew. Several senior officers began considering early retirement.
On Earth, meanwhile, ShagHarri reached forty-two breaths, opened one eye, closed it and opened it again. Something felt different. The stars seemed closer. Not physically closer, but more interested, like people pretending not to stare. He sat up. The zinc roof complained, while the third cushion slid three centimetres and surrendered to gravity.
ShagHarri looked towards Orion. "Evening," he said politely. Nothing answered. Politeness cost nothing. Beyond the compound wall, the generator continued its ongoing blood feud with electricity.
A rooster, confused about several important details concerning time, announced dawn despite dawn being nowhere near due. Nobody paid attention.
Inside the house, his mother moved through the darkness carrying a torch. "ShagHarri!"
"Yes, Mama?"
"What are you doing?"
"Research."
A pause followed.
"Still?"
"Progress does not schedule appointments."
His mother considered this, accepted defeat and returned indoors. Some battles eventually became family traditions.
Three hundred and twelve kilometres above him, another screen activated aboard URANUS-7. The officers turned towards it. A seal appeared: gold, circular and unmistakably ancient. Nobody recognised it, which made everyone immediately suspicious. Beneath it appeared two words:
ALLAFIA PROTOCOL
The room fell silent. The designation appeared older than the station itself, older than most governments and possibly older than several recognised dimensions. Another message followed: SUBJECT HAS INITIATED CONTACT ATTEMPT.
Erphax frowned. "Contact attempt?"
Everyone looked at ShagHarri, who was presently staring at the stars and scratching one ankle.
"That is a contact attempt?"
The display updated: SUBJECT MAINTAINS RESEARCH POSTURE. Several officers looked personally offended. Then came another line: PERSISTENCE LEVEL: EXTREME. The room slowly turned towards the image of Roof Man, Night Eleven. For the first time, an uncomfortable possibility entered the discussion.
"What if he's not the subject?" Kev'Ralak whispered.
"What?"
"What if we're being evaluated?"
Nobody liked that.
Outside, three alarms activated elsewhere in the orbital network. Then seven more. Then twelve. Across neighbouring sectors, systems older than memory began awakening. Forgotten archives reopened, automated registries updated and ancient records started synchronising. Deep beneath layers of bureaucratic encryption, a designation resurfaced:
EARTH
STATUS: PENDING
REPRESENTATIVE: UNASSIGNED
A pause followed. Then, without anyone touching a keyboard or issuing an instruction, the record changed:
REPRESENTATIVE: SHAGHARRI OBENDERBANGA
STATUS: PROVISIONAL
Across seventeen star systems, seventeen departments immediately filed objections. Twenty-five others submitted ownership claims over Earth, despite having no evidence they had ever administered it. One claimed spiritual jurisdiction, another historical jurisdiction and a third cultural jurisdiction. A fourth simply declared that everyone else's paperwork looked suspicious.
The dispute expanded rapidly. By dawn, more than six hundred agencies would be involved. By the following week, interstellar stability would be threatened. By the end of the month, a committee would be established to investigate. The committee would solve nothing.
Back on the roof, entirely unaware that he had just become the most contested human being in existence, ShagHarri opened his notebook and recorded a fresh observation:
The stars seem unusually attentive tonight.
Possible explanations:
Atmospheric conditions.
Extraterrestrials.
Atmospheric extraterrestrials.
He considered the matter carefully, then underlined option three.
Three hundred and twelve kilometres above him, every alarm aboard URANUS-7 activated simultaneously. For the first time in recorded station history, somebody screamed, not from fear but from paperwork.

Comments
Post a Comment