MAGArians of Sector Nevada Who Disappeared in Ikere-Ekiti in Search of Olósùnta. Chapter 1: The Toothless Oracle of Nevada.

 


Chapter 1: The Toothless Oracle of Nevada

In the year 3086, nobody in Sector Nevada trusted the news, which was generated by artificial intelligences, audited by larger artificial intelligences and supervised by committees. 

The MAGArians preferred more reliable sources, which was why twelve of them gathered outside the Quantum Buffalo Casino and Interplanetary Truck Stop around Cindy-47, a toothless ten-dollar sex worker whose predictions had outperformed the Ministry of Facts for seventeen consecutive years. 

She had no education, licences, certifications or Galactic Knowledge Network followers, yet she whispered that an alien was stranded in Africa.

The alien was Olósùnta, she claimed, whose ship had crashed centuries earlier in Ikere-Ekiti Prime after Earth's magnetic field damaged its navigation systems. The Ogoga was merely human, she explained, while Olósùnta was the alien whom locals had discovered and celebrated annually ever since. 

By sunrise, Earl Freedomson, leader of the Nevada Expeditionary Committee for Important Things, had organised an expedition. By lunchtime, committees had been formed to supervise the first committee, and by midnight, the MAGArians had unanimously voted to travel. Only afterwards did somebody remember they needed visas.

The visa process took six months, not because Africa was difficult to enter—it had become Earth's easiest continent to visit in 3042—but because every form generated additional forms, applications required supplementary applications, and those required notarised affidavits proving applicants genuinely existed. 

Eventually, the group secured interplanetary transit visas, United African Federation entry passes, quantum customs documentation, elephant encounter insurance, anti-malaria vaccination certificates, booster certificates, proof they were not escaped clones or time travellers, and proof they were not Belgian. 

Nobody explained the last requirement, which disturbed them deeply.

Three weeks later, they landed outside Somalia Prime, where their guide pointed towards a solitary white man standing in the desert. “The King of the Jungle,” he announced, despite there being no jungle, trees, vines, monkeys or parrots anywhere. 

The man introduced himself as Tarzan Helsfrankenstein, King of the Jungle. When Earl questioned his title, Tarzan sighed and explained that it involved a clerical error, an inheritance dispute, seventeen archaeologists and a very confused encounter with the rear end  [ anus ] of an elephant. 

The MAGArians accepted this as reasonable.

When Tarzan learned they sought Olósùnta, he became silent. Two years earlier, another expedition had pursued the same mystery and vanished completely. 

Its members included Professor Tommy Robinson XVII, Professor Nigel Farage IX and Honourable Dr. Elon Musk, a corporation nobody understood. 

Their local escorts had last seen them after the explorers claimed to represent King Leopold of Belgium. 

The escorts immediately changed direction and took them towards the cave of the witch Gacool, near the entrance to the ancient King's Mines, also known as Solomon's Mines. Nobody knew what had happened to the explorers, and searches had uncovered nothing.

Most sensible people would have cancelled the expedition, boarded the next shuttle home and forgotten Olósùnta entirely. The MAGArians were not most sensible people. Earl insisted they must continue, reasoning that the missing explorers had come close to discovering the mystery. Tarzan pointed out that this was precisely the wrong lesson to draw, but Earl persisted, asking for a letter from King Leopold.

Tarzan covered his face. 

Asking for King Leopold in the wrong place, he warned, could prevent them from ever reaching Ikere-Ekiti Prime. 

Far away, beneath the sacred shadow of Olósùnta Hill, something ancient stirred—something metallic, something not entirely human. Deep beneath Ikere-Ekiti Prime, an alarm that had remained silent for hundreds of years suddenly came to life.......

[ to be contD ]


Chapter 1: The Toothless Oracle of Nevada



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